The Classification of Trash

Purple dirt and cryptic cobwebs,

balls of dust and fallen hair,

fill the house with irreverent gloom.

These are the things which you need to get rid of,

for they are the real trash that is unmistakably filthy.

Later on,

you can enjoy a bath,

in your broken bathtub,

with correspondingly smelly soap.

Then after that,

work is to be done.

You didn't know that after all these years?

After all the trash I had to go through to find you?

Of course you don't,

you live by trash.

You kiss it everyday before you start afresh,

and you embrace it gently at the moment of your return.

Today, I will want you to classify your trash,

with elegance and a prudent flair.

'Dirty' can be dealt with nicely,

you just have to treat it like royalty.

If you want to keep some trash,

that is fine.

What can I expect from a trashface?

It's ok though,

I admire trashfaces;

you rule the world with your careless spirit,

whilst you drool on your couch in less-than-a-minute.

It's all cool.

You can go to school,

I will execute the preliminary classification,

You can join in later, when you have more information.

At school, of course, it will be your first day.

And you are not learning about mathematics or science,

you are learning about the labelling and separating of trash,

and also the different trash qualities that you may be able to identify.

Please come home quick,

after you have finished school,

as the Classy Classifier (myself) is waiting for you here,

I help you put things right,

before they smell bright,

so never fear the classification of trash,

because I can guarantee not a single rash.

Everything done with me,

will be for your own good,

but also your neighbourhood.

Trust me, they'll like you better,

and appreciate your effort.

So, keep your head up high,

but then bring it back down,

as we have a lot of work to do,

in the classification of trash.




Before we start the process,

grab this pile of trash and repeat after me:


"Classify your trash.

It will be better that way.

For at least, in a trashy way,

organisation is in a flash."